Teach your children well.

"You, who are on the road,

Must have a code that you can live by.

And so, become yourself,

because the past is just a goodbye.

Teach your children well,

their Father's hell did slowly go by.

And feed them on your dreams,

the one they picks, the one you'll know by."

Crosby, Stills & Nash

When we were young, my sister, Jeni & I used to put show tunes on the record player and dance until we could hardly stand. My parents, on a trip to Mexico, had brought 2 brightly colored skirts home as a souvenier of their trip. They were much too long for us- drug the ground by inches and inches but were just perfect for twirling! I can see us now, me-lanky & awkward with my horrifying pixie haircut & Jeni- snaggle-toothed with her "home-perm-gone-bad" hairdo, spinning & twirling in time to the music- a blurry fanfare of color and sequins. It is a picture of perfectly unbridled childhood bliss. That's a "there" that's worth going back to...unreserved, unashamed, unafraid....dancing like our lives depended on it- like no one was watching.

One of my recurring questions is where, when & how does that magic end? When do we become jaded and cynical? When do we trade in our hope for despair? When do we let fear overtake us? When do we put aside our dreams and chalk them up to "childhood foolishness"? When do we start measuring our actions by "what other people will think"? When do we stop believing that our vote counts or that we can make a difference? When do we join the paradigm and forget individualism? When do we stop dancing like no one is watching? Is it when someone makes fun of you on the playground? When your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you? When you flunk a test you thought you were prepared for? When you get fired from your job? When a friend betrays your trust? When your parents don't listen to you because "you're a child and you don't know anything." All of the above....none of the above? Is it a rite of passage, a coming of age...necessary in the maturation process....or can it be avoided?

This desire to know the answer is not only driven by memories of my ecstatic childhood moments but also by watching my 2 crazy pre-teens as their candles of innocence begin to flicker. I believe that in "their world" there won't be room for cynicism or despair....hope will lead the way to change. They will need to be fearless to follow their dreams and be prepared to be ridiculed along the way. They will have to think for themselves and be incredible problem solvers- and handlers. I also believe there won't be much room for nay-sayers or passivists. They will be the ones called on to clean up the mess that the previous generations have left for them....it will be unavoidable.

I guess farm school is a pretty radical thing we're doing. The hysteria that ensued after I let the news fly was a good indicator of just how big a deal it is. I get caught up in the logistics of it all and forget that I am, quite frankly my dear.......terrified. However, every day I am affirmed in big & small ways that this is a good decision for us. It's changed my despair to hope, my cynicism into activism, my fear into empowerment, my sadness into joy, my fantasies into reality. This is a lesson for all of us- hopefully with answers that will guide the way to our future....Mac & Annie's future....& their children & grandchildren.....Teach your children well.